Self harm | Support for families and carers

Self harm is a coping strategy, it is a way for your child to manage or try to understand distressing feelings or experiences.

Finding out that your child self harms can be upsetting for families and carers, but there are ways that you can help your child to understand what is causing the self harm and how they can stop.

Self harm is a way of communicating distress, often used when a person can’t verbalise or express themselves in other ways. There is a lot of stigma around self harm, which is why many young people keep it secret from their parents.

Signs your child might be self harming

If you’re worried that your child might be self harming, it’s important to encourage them to get the help they need to stop.

Sometimes you might notice changes in your child’s behaviour which have started suddenly, or they may build gradually over time.

Signs your child might be self harming:

Types of self harm you may notice:

How to talk to your child about self harm

It can be difficult to know how to talk to your child about self harm. As a parent you want to protect your child and make them stop hurting themselves. As a child who is self harming they need you to be a source of comfort, reassurance and understand that they’re going through something they might not be able to put into words.

Parents who think their child is self harming can become concerned that their child wants to take their own life and that self harm is a suicide attempt. Although self harm and suicide are linked, many people who self harm do it as a way to manage their thought and feelings, not to end them entirely.

If you’re worried that your child might be thinking about suicide, you can find more information on how to talk to your child having suicidal thoughts. [link to page]

Talking about self harm:

Getting help for your child

There are some different ways that you can help your young person if they are self harming