Trigger Warning: We are exploring the lived experience of children making the transition from military to civilian life, which some may find triggering.
A small kindness makes a big difference and there’s so much that you can do to help young people who might need a little help getting used to civilian life.
For children and young people experiencing a change from military to civilian life with their families, it can sometimes feel as if they are powerless and not in control when there is a lot of change happening around them. If you know someone in this situation, there are a few different things you can try to do to help.
Remind them this feeling won't last forever
Sometimes when we feel powerless, it’s because we’re struggling with the idea that the future change will be worse than it actually is.
It’s important to remember that talking to children and young people making this change with their family, that they might not know all the information they need to reassure themselves.
Remind them that whatever this next step is for them, it could be better than they think! You could also talk to them about the positives of this change – is there anything they can look forward to because of this change?
Remind them to focus on the things they can control
It’s also important to help children and young people feel in control of situations when they might not feel in control.
By helping them focus on what they can control, not what they can’t, you could help give a new perspective.
Take some time to discuss with them what they do have control over during this change. It could be something small, but that’s okay!
Be a listening ear when it is needed
It’s always important for people to talk about how they may be feeling.
If you know someone who is struggling with feeling powerless, offer to be a listening ear for them.
Having a safe person to speak to can often reduce feelings of powerlessness.
For children and young people experiencing changes from military to civilian life with their families, it can sometimes feel as if they are lost and alone in a new place. If you know someone in this situation, there are a few different things you can try to do to help.
Encourage them to practice self-care
Self-care is the cornerstone of mental health and wellbeing, and sometimes when we’re not feeling good we can forget to practice self-care.
Why not explore our Your Mind Matters Hub to discover what type of self-care might work for them?
We have a wellbeing quiz, lots of downloadable resources and much more.
Remind them it’s important to be kind to themselves, even if they don’t feel they can be right now!
Help them to make new friends, or just be friendly
Sometimes just being kind can help someone feeling lost feel better.
If you know someone moving from military to civilian life with their family, why not simply be friendly – see if there’s anything you can do to help them?
If someone joins your class, having moved because of making this change, why not be welcoming and offer to be a friend?
Be a listening ear when it is needed
It’s always important for people to talk about how they may be feeling.
If you know someone who is struggling with feeling powerless, offer to be a listening ear for them.
Having a safe person to speak to can often reduce the feeling of powerlessness.
Children and young people experiencing a change from military to civilian life with their families can sometimes feel worried about what lies ahead.
Feeling worried about what lies ahead can be a normal part of experiencing a big change. This anxiety, whilst normal, can sometimes feel overwhelming. If you know someone in this situation, there are a few different things you can try to do to help.
Show them our digital resources about anxiety
We have developed a number of different resources to help manage anxiety and the feelings of being worried about big changes.
Why not explore these different resources and follow those tips?
Have a look at our resources about anxiety.
Help find something positive to look forward to
By having something positive to look forward to, our anxiety can often be reduced.
If you know someone who is anxious, why not help them by talking about positive things about the changes they are experiencing?
Having these conversations can be a huge help!
Be a listening ear when it is needed
It’s always important for people to talk about how they may be feeling.
If you know someone who is struggling with feeling powerless, offer to be a listening ear for them.
Having a safe person to speak to can often reduce these feelings of powerlessness.
Ruby Boots Buddy Mentorship Project
Do you live in Fife? We have an exciting new project which is looking for adults from civilian backgrounds to get involved as peer buddy mentors to support young people who have parents leaving the armed forces.
Find out more
Enhance understanding of Forces Life
There many positive and challenging experiences of life in an armed forces and veteran family? Enhance your knowledge and understanding of the lives led by these young people in less than 10 minutes.
Find out more
Forces Life Board Game and Comic
Did you know that we have co-produced a board game and comic with young people which aims to help children and adults from civilian backgrounds to enhance their understanding of the lives they lead?
Find out moreWhen welcoming young people to their new civilian life, remind them that how they’re feeling won’t last forever, encourage them to focus on what they can control, provide a listening ear or introduce them to your friends, and that self-care is the cornerstone of everyone’s mental health and wellbeing
We’re always here if you have any questions too!
If you are concerned about your mental health, or if you have found yourself feeling concerned about someone else, you can also:
Call 111 – NHS 24
Call 116 123 – The Samaritans
Call 0800 83 85 87 – Breathing Space
Text: ‘YM’ to 85258 – Young Minds crisis chat
If you think you are in danger of hurting yourself or other people, you should call 999 or present to your local A&E department.